Animals versus Children

I love our animals. I really do! But sometimes I think the zoo is a bit much, especially where we're living now. I can't wait to get into a house with a yard and a doggy door so they can be more independent. Right now they don't do much without mommy and sometimes it seems like a lot more work than it should be. But we see our animals as children, at least for the time being, so should all this work be worth it? Sure I love cuddling with them and they do ridiculous things sometimes that can be cute and endearing. But the constantly need cleaning up after and no matter how old they get there's no cleaning up after themselves. And when I have gotten four hours of sleep because my animals decided that it was time for me to get up....well I start to wonder what all this is for.

We live in a very small 1br/1ba townhome. Our landlord, during renovations before we moved in, thought it would be a brilliant idea (and a CHEAP idea) to put outside tile inside the house. This stuff is supposed to be scrubbed with a big push broom and power washed with like 50 tons of water pressure. This is nothing I can even begin to think about doing inside, at least until we move and everything is out of here so flooding the place while simultaneously cleaning the floors will be safe for everyone and everything involved. My poor little mop and I just can't keep the floors clean. Every morning I mop the front room. Every week I mop the whole house. And there's moping in between. And I'm sure we have like the lamest mop known to man. It's old and worn out but we're moving soon so I'll get a new mop then. Until then I'll continue to clean up endlessly after the four dogs and one cat that we have. I'm hoping that doggy door I mentioned earlier will cut down on the mopping....

Right now I have to leash three of the pups up to take them outside. There is no fenced in yard and no where to just let them run. My health prevents me from actually walking the dogs too much and I feel bad for them. They have the tether of their leashes to run around. I'm sure they want a yard as much as mommy does. Adrian doesn't always see why a yard is necessary. I know they are small puppies and just running from the front to the back of our apartment as many times as they do a day should be enough exercise. But Koby likes his walks. That poor dog gets so excited to go outside I just want to give him more freedom and a place to play. Is that too much to ask?

I'm not sure at this point whether the yard is for their benefit or mine. Last night we went to bed at 2 am and I was awoken at 7 am by puppies who wanted to play. It wasn't even that they needed out for potty reasons. Just wanted to play....

I don't sleep well as it is. My pain is so bad at night that I'm tossing and turning. My body feels like a steel cage and like all my limb are frozen in place and in pain when I sleep. So the five hours of sleep I did get wasn't truly restful. The doggy door will enable them to come and go and maybe they can just play by themselves outside. Of course I'll need to padlock my gates and put Soft Paws on my cat so that they are truly confined to the back yard. But sometimes mama just wants to sleep!

I hear my friends with children talk about lack of sleep. It's one reason I've put off children for so long. That and the radiation may make it difficult to actually have children but that's another entry entirely. But I've always loved my animals. I bathe them, play with them, talk to them, talk for them in some cases, and I have a special connection to each and every one of them. So to me the animals are like children. But I don't get to watch them take their first steps. They'll never speak a word. And no one will ever call me mama. So I'm not sure the animals instead of children concept truly pays off in the end.

Sure I can crate them when I go to the mall instead of lugging around a stroller and car seat. But the pain and suffering for the outcome is what we all look at. Otherwise no one would ever have kids!!

I see my animals as children. I know sometimes people see their children as animals. And although I know I love them with my whole heart I still can't wait to get a home to put them in. I don't believe that's truly selfish as I know they will benefit from it too. So I feel justified in making my requests to the moving gods (house, backyard, sturdy fence, hard wood floor).... it really is all for the animals.

But for mama tonight I believe some Trazodone is in order. One, maybe two, to drown out the whimpering and barking tomorrow morning. Hopefully it will help....