03 July, 2010

And Now We Wait to Wait

So it's Saturday now. This means, due to the lovely three day weekend, that the soonest we'll hear anything is Tuesday. So we wait. To potentially be told on Tuesday there's more waiting to be done.

I'm loosing my mind. I will run out of my medications in a few weeks. I only got a 30 day supply. Sure, I have an apt on July 6th so I have the potential of getting most of them filled. And I'm going to try for pain management too. I'd just like to be under steady care, with steady doctors, and refills I know I can count on.

We're living out of boxes. Literally. Being here a bit longer gives us a chance to sell a bit more but it also costs us more to live here. Every day we're paying more in food, bills, etc just to be here. Another $176 this morning just to keep the cable on. Which I need for classes. I'd like to have cable in California. Now please.

I''m looking into law schools again. My law degree is technically a Doctorate and since financial aid will probably only cover one of those, and I don't need a doctorate in Psychology to do what I want to do, I've decided to go back to law. I may not want to do criminal stuff anymore but Entertainment Law really interests me. It's contracts but it's high dollar, fast paced, exciting. I could also do family law or corporate law and be just as happy.

So my next step is my Personal Letter. My life and accomplishments melded down into 3 maybe 4 pages. Something that will make me stand out to an acceptance board with my mediocre LSAT score and GPA. Something that says "This girl has determination and drive and can do anything she sets her mind out to do" instead of "Wow, what a poor life this girl has had." I'm open to suggestions.

Beyond that I don't know much right now. When I'm done with my law degree maybe I'll go right into practice, maybe I'll get my psychology license. I'm really into the behavioral therapy stuff; curing OCD's and integrative behavioral techniques. Systematic desensitization has always been my favorite. I'm all about exposure to things that scare you. It's a BDSM kinda kink I think. Who knows.

My life as so many tendrils right now. So many things waiting to take off. And so many things tethering me to the ground. I want nothing more than to pick up and run home to the safety of everything I know.

Instead, I sit here waiting, expecting to be told to wait some more.

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