This past week has been like a big dream for the most part. I came into the ER last Saturday/Sunday (I don't even remember what day it was), to be admitted and taken into colonoscopy. Fairly typical procedure. With Crohn's I've probably had like 15+ in the past few years. So the colonoscopy was no big deal.
However - I woke up in ICU.
I don't remember much about anything that happened in the interim. Read Adrian's note for that part. I just know I was, and still am, a little in shock. I always said I never wanted a bag. They terified me. They are unsanitary and gross. I've heard horror stories and to wake up with one, without knowing about it before hand, and never wanted one. The first few days were a complete blur. The ICU is a total different story. It's like one on one care from the nurses. But the pain medications weren't working. Adrian's mom flew in to be with us. Once I was moved into regular care the frequency of nurses went down but I was also given regular diet and the ability to walk around a bit. Some freedoms.
But I'm still getting used to this whole "bag" thing. Right now I have a zipper from below my ribcage to below my belly button. I have an ileyostomy (?) bag and a drain on the other side. The drain should be removed sometime soon and the bag is, thankfully, reversible. I have to find a way to see doctors and surgeons but then in about six months I can have it reversed. I will always be missing most of my colon but perhaps in the long run that will be a good thing - less place to infect??
I don't have much energy to write much. My mind and my nerves are still a little crazy. Adrian has been busting her ass to try to get our new home ready for me to come home to. It's very sweet and she's very attentive and worried about me.
I am looking at my future now. I think I may be changing my future. I'm not sure my body can handle the stress of the legal field - not just in the schooling but in practicing as well. I'm looking into truly starting my Doctoral program in August.... here in Florida. I have a few small "from home" jobs I can do and the doctors here are contemplating putting me back on temporary disability...... It's just all so much.
My first big surgery, first resectioning, first emergency surgery.............. first time meeting Adrian's mom... first time moving into our new home!!
Like I said - I'm not even sure I'm processing feelings or emotions right now so I'm sorry if this is jumbled at all. I'll write more later when it all makes more sense to me.